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Blair Witch (2016)

More woods that go on endlessly repeating themselves no matter which direction you travel in. JUMP SCARES! More creepy little stick figure totems that mysteriously appear outside of your tent the morning after a sleepless night. JUMP SCARES! Shaky handheld footage of a -JUMP SCARE!- dilapidated house, as a -JUMP SCARE!- long-limbed spectre (definitely not the Blair Witch) gives chase... 

As we reach the end of the Blair Witch franchise (so far, as recently as 2022 there was talk of another instalment and my fingers are crossed that we get one soon) let's look at the most recent film in the series, 2016's Blair Witch.

Blair Witch is a direct sequel to 1999's The Blair Witch Project, telling the story of James Donahue, whose sister Heather went missing during the events of the original film. James, his three friends and two local guides travel into the Black Hills Forest near Burkittsville, Maryland after a mysterious video is uploaded to YouTube showing a brief glimpse of a woman that James believes is his sister.

This film is effective at doing what it sets out to do, which is to scare you. It has the budget and the toys at its disposal to provide what is essentially a theme park haunted maze version of the Blair Witch Project. Everything is dialled up to eleven: More scares! Louder sounds! Blood and gore! Blair Witch doesn't burrow under your skin and fester like the original film does as much as it jumps out at you from the dark, content to make you spill some of your popcorn. It's a fun viewing experience, if not a particularly memorable one. There are exciting ideas introduced to the series lore such as time anomalies and cosmic horror elements, but they're never explored as the filmmakers seem happy enough to merely hit the same story beats of the first film than harbouring any desire to chart new ground for the franchise.

Third Course

For the third and final course of our Blair Witch dinner party, we're returning to the theme of camping food, just as this film returns to the familiar presentation and tropes that the original was known for.


Toasted Marshmallows

During their first evening camping in the woods, as the group talk about Elly Kedward and the Blair Witch, we see Lane and Peter toasting marshmallows.


Nothing better encapsulates the fun of camping out then toasting marshmallows over a roaring fire. It's the ultimate campfire activity. Seeing as this course is serving as our dessert, something sweet seemed fitting. 

When I first trialled this course I originally experimented with these tiny little portable campfires you can buy, thinking that it would be fun for everyone to be able to toast their own marshmallows at the table. It did prove to be a fun activity, but nobody ate their dessert because everyone complained that the marshmallows all had a strong chemical taste to them, so I've decided to scrap that and rely on a culinary butane torch to give them that nice and toasty look.

Johnnie Walker Red Label Whiskey

The night before setting out into the Black Hills Forest, the group of four calm their nerves by getting drunk in a motel room. At the end of this sequence we see Ashley place a near-emptied bottle of whiskey on the bedside table.


As with the KFC box in my previous update, the prop department on this film has crafted something that appears uncannily similar to a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red Label Whiskey (here called 'Red Blend'). Film productions will do this for a few reasons, one being to save themselves costly headaches further down the line during post-production if the featured product company decides that they do not want to be associated with the movie (or the "values" featured within it).


The focus on the bottle in this scene, and why I have chosen it for this course, is also to pay reference to an identical scene in the original film where Heather, Josh and Mike pass around a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red Label Whiskey before heading out on their similarly doomed camping trip.

Red Label is the pioneer whiskey for Scottish brand Johnnie Walker distilleries. The drink was first introduced in 1909 and contains a blend of 35 grain and malt whiskies to produce a whiskey that is ideally suited for mixing. It is popular the world over and you will have no trouble finding it in any well-stocked liquor store.


BACKGROUND MUSIC? "Pagan Dance Move" by Arnaud Rebotini

WANT MORE BLAIR WITCH THEMED FUN? Go around the table and have everyone share the gnarliest thing they ever had to extract from their body!


What franchise will be next? Any guesses? Any suggestions? Is there a particular franchise you'd like to see me focus on? Comment below!

Enjoy
-CJ

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